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Vichekesho vya kukuondoa mawazo leo

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Soma vichekesho hivi;

Mwizi wa atm

Jamaa aliibiwa kadi yake ya benk akaulizwa kama ameripoti polisi akajibu "sijaripoti bado, mwizi mwenyewe hamfikii matumizi kama mke wangu.

Cheka kidogo

Njia rahisi kusahau matatizo yako (japo kwa muda mfupi) vaa viatu vinavyokubana.

Mlizi mbio mbio

Tulikuwa bar moja jana mlinzi kaingia spidi, akamwambia jamaa mmoja aliyekaa kaunta, Mlinzi: Mzee gari lako limeibiwa Mzee: Umemtambua aliyeiba? Mlinzi: Hapana lakini nimeandika namba za gari hizi hapa.

13, 13…

Jamaa alikuwa anapita nje ya wodi ya vichaa akasikia mtu anasema, 13, 13, 13, 13, 13, 13,….. akaamua kuchungulia kwenye kitundu alichokiona ajue kuna nini, ile kuchungulia tu akamwagiwa mchanga wa machoni, sauti ikabadili ikaanza 14,14,14,14,14……

WATAALAM

Jamaa alikuwa anaumwa sana, mkewe akamwita daktari, alipofika akamkuta jamaa kafumba macho;
Dokta: Huyu mbona amekwisha kufa?
Jamaa: Sijafa bwana
Mke: Hebu nyamaza bwana acha kubishana na wataalamu.

Ya leo mgonjwa

Dokta alipotembelea wodi ya mgonjwa wake aliyepata ajali. Mgonjwa akiwa amening'inizwa mikono juu akauliza "dokta ntaweza kweli kupiga kinanda nkitoka hospitali?"
Dokta: Bila shaka utaweza, wewe ni mpiga kinanda mzuri enh?
Mgonjwa: Hapana sijawahi kabisa bado.

4WD

Mwanaume alimnunulia pete ya almasi mkewe, rafiki akauliza "si ulisema anapenda gari yenye four wheel drive, mbona umenunua pete?" Mume akajibu "unadhani wapi ntapata rav4 feki?"

Ajali ilivyotokea

Trafiki polisi akihoji palipotokea ajali "ahaa! Sasa naanza elewa embu nielezee jinsi ajali ilivyotokea wewe ukiwa kama dereva mhusika." Dereva akajibu "hata sikumbuki nlifumba macho"

Faini ya kukojoa

Polisi alimdaka jamaa anakojoa pembezoni mwa ukuta.
Polisi: Wewe unajua panakatazwa kukojoa hapa?
Jamaa: Sasa nimebanwa nifanyaje?
Polisi: Faini yake elfu tano.
Jamaa akatoa noti ya elfu 10.
Polisi: Sasa chenji tunaipataje?
Jamaa: Tafuta chenji unipe changu.
Polisi: Basi kojoa tena…

Mume anaenda kazini

Jamaa kaamka asubuhi sana Jumamosi, mvua inanyesha kang'ang'ania kuwa anaenda ofisini. Kawasha gari yake, kufika njiani hali ilikuwa mbaya kaamua kurudi. Kafika home kavua nguo kaingia tena kitandani, kamnong'oneza mkewe aliyekuwa usingizini; "Yaani hali ya hewa huko nje mbaya sana" Mke: Si ndio nimemshangaa huyu mpumbavu eti kaenda kazini…

Hasira za mtoto

Baba na mtoto:
Baba: Mwanangu ukiwa na hasira unafanya nini?
Mtoto: Naenda chooni.
Baba: Chooni? Kufanya nini?
Mtoto: Kusafisha.
Baba: Halafu ndio hasira zinaisha?
Mtoto: Ndio. Nasafisha choo kwa mswaki wako.

Mgonjwa na Dokta

Mgonjwa: Dokta nimekuja nahisi ninaumwa Malaria na kifua.
Dokta: Sasa ushajua unaumwa nini hapa umefuata nini kwangu?
Mgonjwa: Sasa si nimekuja kwa dokta.
Dokta: Wanaojua kuwa wanaumwa kama wewe wanapitiliza maabara.

Pilau la bachela

Bachela mmoja aliyekua akiishi kwa muda mrefu peke yake kwenye nyumba aliyopanga siku moja alitaka kupika pilau kwa mara ya kwanza. Sasa asijue nini kinachobadilisha rangi ya wali kuwa rangi ya brown, yeye akapika kama kawaida (wali) kisha wakati wa kula akavaa miwani yenye rangi ambayo ukiuangalia wali unauona kama pilau wakati anakula.

Mwizi na chizi

Mwizi kaiba TV na kuanza kukimbia nayo, kumbe ile nyumba mlikuwa na chizi, akaanza kumkimbiza yule mwizi. Kila mwizi akiongeza mbio chizi nae huyo, mwishowe mwizi akasalimu amri na kusimama, yule chizi akamsogelea na kumwambia.. Daah umesahau remote hii hapa mwizi kafleti.

Chemsha bongo

Baba akimuuliza chemsha bongo mwanae anayesoma shule ya chekechea "haya niambie kitu gani hakiwezi kuliwa wakati wa breakfast?" Mtoto akajibu "hiyo mbona rahisi baba, si lunch na dinner"

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Paul Kamau (Guest) on June 25, 2023

πŸ˜„ Umenishika vizuri!

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Ninashiriki hii na marafiki zangu mara moja! πŸ˜†

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Ucheshi wenu unanifurahisha kila siku! πŸ˜ŠπŸ˜‚

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Ucheshi wenu unanifurahisha! πŸ˜ŠπŸ˜‚

Joyce Aoko (Guest) on April 14, 2023

πŸ˜‚ Ninashiriki mara moja!

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Hii joke ni ya kufurahisha! 🀣🀣

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πŸ˜‚ Siwezi kuacha kucheka!

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Huyu alikuwa na point! πŸ˜‚πŸ‘Œ

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Hii imenikumbusha enzi zile! πŸ˜…πŸ˜‚

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πŸ˜‚ Ninaihifadhi hii!

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πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜…

Wilson Ombati (Guest) on November 11, 2022

🀣 Hii kichekesho ni nzuri sana!

Richard Mulwa (Guest) on November 7, 2022

πŸ˜† Bado nacheka!

George Tenga (Guest) on November 4, 2022

Bado nacheka, hiyo ilikuwa nzuri sana! 🀣

Monica Nyalandu (Guest) on October 18, 2022

Hii imenipa kicheko cha siku! πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

Richard Mulwa (Guest) on October 14, 2022

Nimecheka hadi nimemiss kicheko! πŸ˜ŠπŸ˜‚

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Hii ni aina ya kichekesho usichosahau! πŸ˜‚

Mwanahawa (Guest) on August 11, 2022

πŸ˜… Ilibidi nishiriki hii na kila mtu!

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πŸ˜† Nacheka hadi chini!

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Hii ni joke ya kufurahisha sana! πŸ‘πŸ˜†

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Umesema kweli! πŸ‘ŒπŸ˜‚

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πŸ˜‚ Ninahitaji kuihifadhi hii milele!

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πŸ˜‚ Siwezi kuacha kucheka na hii!

Anna Kibwana (Guest) on April 29, 2022

🀣 Ninashiriki hii sasa hivi!

Catherine Naliaka (Guest) on April 14, 2022

Siwezi kuamini jinsi hii ni kichekesho! πŸ˜‚

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Hii imenipa kicheko cha siku! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜†

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Nimecheka hadi nina furaha sana! πŸ˜ŠπŸ˜‚

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Lazima nikumbuke hii kwa baadaye! πŸ˜†

Abdullah (Guest) on January 7, 2022

Bado nacheka, hiyo ilikuwa nzuri sana! 🀣

Mustafa (Guest) on December 17, 2021

😁 Kicheko bora ya siku!

Mwanaisha (Guest) on December 10, 2021

πŸ˜† Nacheka hadi chini sasa hivi!

Ruth Mtangi (Guest) on December 9, 2021

πŸ˜„ Kichekesho gani!

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Ucheshi wenu unanifurahisha kila siku! πŸ˜†πŸ˜‚

Ndoto (Guest) on November 6, 2021

Lazima niihifadhi hii, ni kichekesho kali sana! πŸ˜†

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Nimecheka hadi nimesahau shida zangu! πŸ˜ŠπŸ˜…

Sarah Mbise (Guest) on September 23, 2021

Nimefurahia sana hii! πŸ˜…πŸ˜Š

Safiya (Guest) on September 19, 2021

πŸ˜‚ Lazima nihifadhi hii!

Bahati (Guest) on September 15, 2021

Haha! Sijacheka hivi kwa muda mrefu! 🀣

Joseph Mallya (Guest) on September 5, 2021

Hii ni kali! Itaingia kwenye vipendwa vyangu! πŸ˜„

Bernard Oduor (Guest) on August 6, 2021

Kweli ni jokes za ukweli! πŸ‘πŸ˜†

Agnes Sumaye (Guest) on July 22, 2021

Hii imenikuna hadi nina furaha sana! πŸ˜ŠπŸ˜‚

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Napenda jokes zenu! πŸ˜ŠπŸ˜…

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Ucheshi wenu unanifurahisha kila siku! πŸ˜†πŸ˜„

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Nimefurahia hii sana! πŸ˜†πŸ˜Š

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😁 Hii imenifanya siku yangu iwe bora!

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🀣 Kichekesho bora kabisa!

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Umeimaliza kabisa, kichekesho gani! πŸ˜„

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